“Okay, I’m here. It’s fucking 7 a.m. in the morning and I am here. This O.P.D. is so crowded even with an hour for the counter to open. Makes you wonder how many people deal with mental illnesses without even knowing what exactly they are dealing with. Okay, mom you sit here and I’ll hold our place in the line.Continue reading “Thoughts from a Therapy Session”
When I was clinically diagnosed for the first time in 2016, I did it all—the medicines, the hospital visits, the breakdowns and panics—without my family. All on my own. I was scared for my life which is very ironic given that I didn’t really care for my life at that point.Continue reading “Sorry, Not Sorry.”
I don’t remember having a conversation with my creator and picking out qualities and behaviours from a choice of many. I don’t remember asking for a mind that overthinks and a heart that feels too much. For all I know, I was born with it. Or maybe I picked them along the way—with my experiences in the world. All I know today, is that I am an empath with a mind that overthinks even the slightest of things and a heart that overflows with every emotion presented to it.Continue reading “Mental Illness is not a Choice”
I receive a text from an old acquaintance in another country asking me how I am doing. Since I have taken an oath to always talk honestly about my illness, and he is someone who knows I struggle with it, I tell him, “I have been depressed past couple of months. I took a sabbatical from work and everything just seems hopeless.” He sends me the rolling eye emoji and thus begins an uninvited rant. In the middle of be positives and why do you think like this, he says, “You have to learn how to live happily.” And I lose it.Continue reading “The Opposite of Depression is not Happiness”
What does my depression look like?
For 10 years or so, someone—and not something—has been living inside my mind. I have known it in different capacities and by different names. I have lived each of its identity for all of my life—sometimes more than one at a time.Continue reading “Colours of Depression”