When you heal, you create. You write what hurts. You paint wounds no one can see. You play a sad melody. You dance to a rhythmic heartbreak. You sing someone else’s agony. You narrate tales of longing and belonging. You plant vulnerabilities. You sketch character flaws. When you heal, you create. And sometimes the only thing you create is a mess.
Every now and then, you pick up a book that is outside your reading comfort zone. For me, it was A Year of Wednesdays by Sonia Bahl. I’ll admit that I am not particularly a fan of contemporary Indian writers because somehow they can’t seem to think of anything outside the circle of love. But amidst my pre-established bias and impulsive decisions, I decided to give this book a shot.Continue reading ““If you can’t be illogically good, uncomfortably good, if you can’t be loyal when no one is looking…what’s the point?” | My Thoughts on A Year of Wednesdays by Sonia Bahl”
The day I wanted to kill myself was a Tuesday in October. I lay in bed holding a box of sleeping pills in one hand and a knife in the other. On my table next to the bed rested a pair of scissors and a rope that I had spent hours untangling. My eyes were fixed at the fan. The room was dark with all lights turned off;Continue reading “The Day I Wanted to Kill Myself”
Wait. Wait. Wait.
“Okay, I’m here. It’s fucking 7 a.m. in the morning and I am here. This O.P.D. is so crowded even with an hour for the counter to open. Makes you wonder how many people deal with mental illnesses without even knowing what exactly they are dealing with. Okay, mom you sit here and I’ll hold our place in the line.Continue reading “Thoughts from a Therapy Session”
When I was clinically diagnosed for the first time in 2016, I did it all—the medicines, the hospital visits, the breakdowns and panics—without my family. All on my own. I was scared for my life which is very ironic given that I didn’t really care for my life at that point.Continue reading “Sorry, Not Sorry.”
Continued from Part 1.
So, after I finished reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Alborn, I was out of my reading slump. And that was the time when I was going to pick up the book I had long been wanting to read from an author I have loved.Continue reading “A Slow Reading Year | My First 10 Reads of 2019 | Part 2”
The year that began with a lot of enthusiasm and hopes turned into a year where my reading was forced to the backseat. A lot was, and is, going on in my life and caught up in all of that, I couldn’t grab my hands on as many books as I had thought.
But, I am proud of everything I have done. With half the year gone, I managed to read 10 books amidst battling my depression, managing (and eventually leaving) work, and redefining emotional boundaries in my life. Achievement? Achievement.Continue reading “A Slow Reading Year | My First 10 Reads of 2019 | Part 1.”
I don’t remember having a conversation with my creator and picking out qualities and behaviours from a choice of many. I don’t remember asking for a mind that overthinks and a heart that feels too much. For all I know, I was born with it. Or maybe I picked them along the way—with my experiences in the world. All I know today, is that I am an empath with a mind that overthinks even the slightest of things and a heart that overflows with every emotion presented to it.Continue reading “Mental Illness is not a Choice”