Dear December | The 20th | The 21st | The 22nd

Dear December,

Miss me? I did too. But oh well, I did not want to write to you out of obligation because that’s just rude and you know I only do things with all my heart. The past two days were those where I struggle to be productive all day and as the night comes, I want to sink into bed and just be (or rather not be). But since I want to write to you today, it’s only courteous that I fill you in on the missing days.

20th

Wednesday was a pretty okayish day. I got quite some work done–wrote a couple of book reviews, cleared one of my bookshelves, and organized the coming weeks for work schedule. Towards the evening, I met an old friend from school (who was actually 3 years senior to me in school, and we became friends in the strangest ways possible) and it was just wonderful to meet him. We talked about probably all things life and well, I had fun. Also, I walked to and back from the meeting spot so I got some exercise done as well.

But, life is not so simple. By the time I reached back home, I had begun to have a mood swing and then I had received an email from one of my clients and the overthinking took over. (That’s a weird construction.) I was pretty upset and then I just burst out crying because there were so many things going on in my teeny tiny head. Depression was bad on Wednesday. Not cool. But, didi and bhaiya consoled me for like an hour and then things were pretty okay. *blessings in life.*

After that, I was too tired so I just went to bed (after I stared at the ceiling for a long time, that is.)

21st

Thursday was not that great. My eyes were tired from all the crying last night and clearly, I hadn’t gotten enough rest. I had a client call so I pulled myself together and when it got too much, I called a senior member in the practice and asked her to meet. I went to her place, we chanted for 30 minutes together, had a cup of tea, and then I asked her guidance. That felt nice.

Also, while I was WALKING my way to her house, I met two of my classmates from school. It was nice to talk to them after I guess 5 years. Yeah, I hadn’t met them anytime in between but then again there was no point or the possibility of that happening because hello! we were not friends. I hadn’t even spoken to one of them in my entire school life. But, you already know that by now.

After I WALKED back home, I was in high spirits. I also met another acquaintance from old times. I read a little after coming back home, and then I chanted for another 30 minutes before going to bed. Success! I chated for an hour in a day after such a long time. I am hopeful I will get back to my routine of chanting for 2 hours everyday. 😀

22nd

Today was, ummm, lazy. Okay, so in the morning I found out that today was my full moon day! Plus I couldn’t chant in the morning so I knew that whatever I had planned in the morning is going to go in the drain.

By the time it was 1, I hadn’t accomplished much and my sweet-tooth was active because my uterus was killing me. So I watched this new show didi and I discovered, 9JKL, and munched on some desi sweet-food.

After that I dozed off and my plans to go for a walk with maa were obviously cancelled. I did not get any work done today but I was able to finish A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle and I also began reading a soft copy of And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini. I also made progress with The House by the Sea by Santa Montefiore which is a part of my December TBR. I know, right!? 😀

I had my lunch in the evening and then my uterus wanted chai. Not me. My uterus wanted it. So I had chai and half an hour later went to take a walk around the market with bhaiya. I came back and I wasn’t really hungry so I got all my medical routine done and voila, I was in my bed.

But the guilt of not having checked anything off my to-do list for today was killing me, so I wrote a book review for one of the most beautiful books I read this year and then sat down to write to you.

It’s 10.56 as I write this to you and

Musing of the day

is that there are too many thoughts in my mind to put them all in here especially in a way that they will make sense to you. But I can leave some bullet pointers so you know.

  • Health
  • Career
  • Existential Crisis
  • Pain of Unrequited Love
  • difference between like and equal
  • more existential crisis
  • I’m missing lectures!!
  • How will I buy books for next year?
  • more-er existential crisis

And the latest thought is me wondering if I should have just one more piece of jalebi after writing this to you and before going to bed?

See you tomorrow, December (hopefully with more energy and productivity)

Love, and lots of it,
Apurva

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